Something I can’t imagine
Monday, May 18 2009
When a loved one is in the hospital, you naturally want to be at the bedside. But what if the staff won’t allow it?
That’s what Janice Langbehn, a social worker in Lacey, Wash., says she experienced when her partner of 18 years, Lisa Ponds, collapsed with an aneurysm during a Florida vacation and was taken to a Miami trauma center. She died there, at age 39, as Ms. Langbehn tried in vain to persuade hospital officials to let her visit, along with the couple’s adopted children.
I find this appalling – and not just as someone sympathetic to gays and lesbians, but also as a patient myself. I can only guess how awful I would feel if I were in Ms. Langbehn’s situation. Frustrated. Angry. Possibly homicidal.
Doctors and hospitals have a lot of power over patients. Usually, this power is exercise benevolently and beneficially. But sometimes, not. Sometimes, this power is exercised arbitrarily and recklessly. Sometimes, small-minded bigots use it to inject their own self-righteousness into the most intimate and critical moments of sick peoples’ lives.
One solution to this problem is to restrain the bigots – to adopt policies that prevent bigots from abusing their power. This then requires an interpretation as to what constitutes “abuse”. The lawsuit Ms. Langbehn is bringing is ultimately a question of interpretation of existing policies, and I do hope she wins.
But another solution is to reduce the power, and thus curtail the potential for abuse. And this, to me, is a possibility we should be looking at more seriously. We – patients, sick people, everyone – ought to re-examine the provider’s role in society, and the awesome privileges granted to these institutions. When we do, I suspect we will find that many of these privileges are dated vestiges and no longer serve the best interests of patients and their families. I think this is certainly true for Ms. Langbehn; I know it has been true for me, too.
I had previously read that story and it makes me sick. Who the hell has the right to legislate who you can love, visit in the hospital, raise children, or marry? No one should have that kind of power. I feel very lucky to work in a hospital that is progressive in trying to get rid of some of these old school rules. We may soon just abolish a visiting policy all together, and trust me, this is causing a lot of angst from some staff.