I don’t smoke pot
Sunday, April 5 2009
In response to Joe Klein’s Time piece on legalizing marijuana, a few notable bloggers have ‘fessed to their own indulgence – Will Wilkinson, Matt Yglesias, Ezra Klein ( and I’m sure others I don’t read). Not that I roll with that crowd, but here’s my confession:
I don’t smoke pot.
One of the minor consequences of my illness is that I am hypersensitive to alcohol. Even half a beer gives me severe diarrhea and a crushing headache the next day. I have a similar reaction to caffeine; the last time I had a cup of hot chocolate, I crapped my pants within half an hour. I find that just about anything legal and fun to imbibe has a similar effect, so I have to avoid social lubricants entirely. You know how much fun I am at parties? None.
You might think someone like me would smoke pot instead – but no. I grew up with the whole Nancy Reagan mindset planted firmly in my subconscious: marijuana is dangerous and toxic and one step away from huffing your slate clean with paint thinner. Somehow, this belief persisted through college (despite the fact that I saw lots of very smart people smoke lots of very strong weed with very little consequences) and even into adulthood (long after I realized that my own father had grossly understated his own “experimentation” back in the day). I have been offered pot plenty of times, but always declined as diplomatically as possible. You may think, “good for Nancy Reagan”, but that mindset also kept me from asking for pain meds until I was nearly incapacitated. So thank you, Nancy Reagan, for the worst two months of my life.
What cured my Nancy Reagan brainwash was that for three years I took Vicodin regularly and responsibly, and somehow avoided everything I knew to fear about drug use: to my surprise, I did not turn in to a burnt-out back-alley man-whore, sucking off tricks for enough cash to buy another hit of Vicodin. I took my pills, I felt better, I got better, I earned my Master’s degree, and then after my last surgery, I got off the pills. Apparently, there is not an addict inside me, just waiting to burst out to ruin my life at the first taste of dope. And now I realize: I could probably smoke weed and still lead a productive life.
I have since smoked pot: exactly once, about a year ago. While on a business trip, a colleague and I had dinner with his brother – an HIV patient with a prescription for it – and we all shared a joint. At that point, I couldn’t think of a reason not to. So I got buzzed. It was mildly pleasant. I was sociable and engaging. I was fun to hang out with, for a change.
I would do it again, but the problem is – now I’m old. I have a career. I could lose a lot from even casual use of marijuana – but only because it’s illegal. I have no idea how to go about purchasing pot, what to look for, who to ask. So far that one joint was my only joint. The stakes are too high - ridiculously high – where the law is concerned.
Sure, if I lived somewhere else, I could get a prescription. I’ve heard pot is an effective treatment for Crohn’s, but here’s the thing: I don’t care. All that really matters is that pot makes me less of a prick but doesn’t make my Crohn’s any worse. To me at least, the “medical marijuana” debate is a distraction from the fact that it shouldn’t be illegal in the first place.
Because pot is illegal, the only drugs that I can legally use are prescription narcotics. I have plenty left over from my last surgery. (That picture? Taken at my desk a moment ago.) If I get caught with them, I can always plead “gut pain”: according to the schedule, these drugs have an acceptable medical use, where marijuana doesn’t. It makes all the difference in the world, apparently. So every now and then, I take a half a Vitamin V (the ones on the right) before an evening out – especially if it’s some tedious professional function I can’t skip. I fully appreciate that this technically counts as drug abuse, but at least it’s legal.
So, no: I don’t smoke pot. I abuse narcotics instead.
Legalize marijuana. What a stupid thing to prohibit.
I have no interest in it personally. At all. Or narcotics. In fact, I abuse hot chocolate, if anything, without the deleterious health effects that you experience.
This is bound to be one of your most popular posts.
Keep the one’s on the right I’ll take the one’s on the left. But why didn’t you get the 8mg instead of the 4mg?
I am almost ashamed to admit that I have never smoked pot either. Even when I traveled to Jamaica and Amsterdam. However, I have a feeling half of my plasma volume has been replaced by caffeine and good bottles of Petite Syrah. I say, go ahead a legalize pot. And DX, you should smoke up Mon’. Being a prick is a major buzz kill, and a buzz is a terrible thing to waste.
I understand your position and sympathize with your predicament.
But I’ve smoked pot (recreationally) regularly for over 5 years. I’m an engineer who has been drug tested 4 times in the past few years, passing each time. I know some careers are exceptions, but in general it’s not too hard to smoke and maintain a professional career.
I’m not trying to be pushy, I’m just pointing out that it’s probably something you could work into your life if you wanted to. Ask around to people you trust, I bet you have a friend or relative who could help you out. You’ve only got the one life, and if there’s something you can enjoy without hurting yourself then it’s worth looking into.