The things I carried
Thursday, November 6 2008
I feel a sudden urge to turn from controversy towards something more useful. I never intended this blog to be given over to complaining about docbloggers – it just happened that way – but I do want it to helpful, especially to sick people.
With that in mind, a little backstory: in 2006, I was very very sick. I spent a total of 21 days in hospitals, spread out over three different hospitals and four distinct visits. Hospitalization got to be almost routine for me, so much that I began to plan for it. I found I didn’t really need much for a day or two inside, but by day three I started to miss certain comforts. So I packed a hospital bag – a small duffel I took with me to the ER, just in case I checked in for a while. Here’s what was in it:
- My basic medical information, including PCP name and number, specialist name and number, emergency contact info, insurance info, diagnosis, allergies, prior surgeries, and current medications. I was on an ever-changing roster of drugs, so updating this was kind of a bitch, but worth it. I had several copies, and would hand them out to docs and nurses instead of trying to remember the litany.
- Copies of my Living Will and Designation of Health Care Surrogate. These are absolutely necessary, in my view. This lady is full of crap.
- A list of phone numbers I might need – family, friends, work, anyone who might need to know where I am. Most of these numbers are in my cell phone, but I didn’t bother bringing a charger with me. The list was a handy back-up.
- Clothes, including underwear, pajamas, socks, zip-up sweatshirt, and t-shirts. Like vertebrates everywhere, I fricking hate hospital gowns: they’re always three Xs too L for me, they’re too thin to keep me warm, and I can’t stand having my boy bells flop around all day. The discovery that I can wear my own clothes was like a divine blessing. When I could, I wore underwear and pajamas underneath the gown. If I could convince the nurse to unhook my IV long enough, I put on a t-shirt and got rid of the gown. I also cropped the sleeves off a long underwear top, so I could stay warm without interfering with my IV. Sometimes, though, the most I could get away with was draping a zip-up hoodie over my shoulders like a cape. Most of these clothes are old and ugly – stuff I didn’t care about ruining or losing. As a rule, I didn’t take anything to the hospital I minded bleeding, pooping, peeing, or vomiting all over. Also, I didn’t take anything the color of blood.
- Some stuff they gave me the last time I was in the hospital, like lotion, no-rinse shampoo, mesh briefs, non-slip socks, mouth wash, a travel toothbrush. I kept this stuff mostly because it’s only useful in hospitals, but some hospitals are a little more stingy than others.
- An old electric razor and charger. I found that being able to keep myself relatively well-groomed really helped my mood when I was in the hospital. Outside the hospital, I’m pretty slack about shaving regularly, but I usually use a blade. Inside, the electric razor is a lot less likely to leave open cuts in my skin, with the consequent risk of infection.
- Gigantic elastic bands. Abbott sent them when I was taking Humira, because they thought I had RA. The rubber bands are a rudimentary exercise kit; again, pointless outside of the hospital, but useful inside just to have something to do.
- Earplugs – several pairs, 30dB or better (especially Leight Sleepers or Hearos). One of my biggest problems in the hospital was getting enough sleep. There was always some noise from the hall, televisions, roommates, helicopters, and so on. Good ear plugs were often the difference between sleep and unrelenting misery.
- Chemical heat packs. I am a giant wuss about cold; I can never stay warm enough in hospitals. These things, you expose to air and you get a nice little source of heat for eight hours or so. I made sure the nurses knew I was using them, so they didn’t decide it was some weird fever and freak out.
There are also some things I didn’t keep in my bag, but tried to remember to take with me when I was headed to the ER.
- A warm hat. Sometimes, this was the only thing I could wear besides a gown. It makes a big difference in keeping warm.
- Slip-on shoes. If I can walk, I do – as much as I can stand. Exercise enhances respiratory function, helping prevent pneumonia. Soft, comfortable, easy-to-put-on shoes made walking a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable.
- The oldest pair of glasses I can find, because I usually couldn’t wear contacts.
So, that’s my bag. For my last major hospital visit – my surgery – I did one other thing that helped tremendously: I cut off all my hair. I had come to hate the way my hair felt after a few days in the hospital, and since I knew I would be in for a week, I went to the barber and had it cut down to stubble. I could wash it with bar soap and a damp rag, and not worry about it.
That was two years ago. I’ve since let my hair grow out, but I still keep the bag packed on a shelf in my closet. I hope I’m done with the hospital for a good long while, but who knows? At least if I have to go back, I’ll have what I need already collected in one place.
